Let me prefrece this by saying every man has porn. Mostly it is in their computer. Some men don't want to give in to the digital world that is taking over, and therefore still shove a few VHS's in a shoebox and hide it in the back of their closet. But women, don't think just because you have yet to find his stash that it doesn't exist. Because it does. And no matter how hard you might try to stop it, he is going to watch it. He will just disguise it better.
How does his collection give you insight about your man in question? Well first of all, you will quickly figure out his type. Does he like Big Breasted women? Or is it a long collection of barley-legal? Are they mostly withering blonds that are easy to throw around or voluptuous culonas who moans "mmmm, Papi" every few thrusts? Does he wank off to the slutty/sexy girls in professional porn, or the girl-next-door look in amateur?
Now of course this probably will not surprise you. No need to go into the Porn collection just to see what women he likes. But how about his secret fantasies? Is there a lot of anal scenes or oral scenes? Does he enjoy girl-on-girl contact? Are there any foot fetishes or BDSM in there? He might be too embarrassed to bring it up to you, but his "other girlfriends" in porn would never judge him if he likes to be spanked and tied up.
I believe it also tells you about his view on women (to an extent!!!). Does he have a lot of scenes where the women are being screwed by 3+ men? Where the women have toilet seats over there head and have to deep-throat until they throw up? Does it seem to matter to him if the girls are enjoying themselves in the scenes? Now, I say to an extent, because it is hard to find mainstream porn that isn't slightly degrading to women in some form or another, so you can't expect any man to have a completely "pro-women" collection.
Believe it or not, it also tells you his comfort with sex. Is his collection in an easy to find folder under his documents called "my porn collection"? Or hidden in his c-drive, inside the applications folder, hidden in his work folder, titled "spreadsheets and bar graphs"?
It can also tell you his spending habits. Does he spend money on the good quality porn, or does he simply link five 30 second clips together because he is too cheap to spend his money on a full clip? Because, come on, if he won't spend his money on porn, what will he spend his money on?
I personally believe that a study should be conducted to see the extent that porn can tell us about a man (his religious views, maybe?). And I would even love to conduct the study myself! I'm just not sure if I can stand in front of a panel of esteemed professors and explain how I found a correlation between anal leakage videos and political views. Maybe that should be an "after dissertation" study.
12 comments:
Believe me, I have tried to study his porn and there seems to be little consistency other than it's not me in there.
He spends no money, but doesn't try to hide it (in fact, I believe it is sometimes thrown in my face.)
There is no fetish material (BDSM, etc.) But I think that has more to do with not spending money: it is all DVR'd soft core porn on Cinemax.
There even doesn't seem to be consistency among the women: tall, short, big tits, little tits, boyish figures, voluptuous ones (though none as 'curvy' as me.), blond, brunette, red heads. Different positions, some girl-on-girl, some all out fucking, some more romantic, some blow jobs. It's all over the map. Plus, this is just what's recorded, perhaps he watches others and doesn't record. And maybe he does have a box somewhere or a hidden folder on his computer.
Perhaps I just need a professional to do the analysis cuz I'm stumped. The only thing I've concluded is anything but me!
Wanna know what men think?
"Holy shit. I can't believe this girl is letting me have sex with her."
Kyra- Free porn is tricky. Because he is not paying for it, I'm sure he is just taking what he can get. No man I can think of would chose Cinemax if money was no object. So I think it really tells you that he is not willing to spend money on his sexual desires.
So@24- Point well taken.
I agree: porn is a pretty reliable indicator of a guy's sexual fantasies and preferences. But drawing conclusions from the size, monetary value, or type of women present in the "stash" is pretty tricky. Mostly we (men) just get what sounds exciting at the moment, without any regard for patterns. We might have a few favorite actresses but we are fickle and quick to replace them. Oh yeah, and some of us don't spend any money on it (or very little) because there's a lot of good stuff that's free.
I think good science is finding correlations where we previously thought none existed, i'd be all over this study. In talking to my friends, I think you can also learn alot about how guys hide their stash, I personally think my security measures would baffle the CIA.
I would LOVE to read your report after you conduct this study. What are you waiting for?
I used to watch porn but after seeing Sabina's recent pics I now use those instead :).
In all seriousness, I think an equally fascinating study would be women's views towards their spouses/s.o's porn habits. Are confident women ok with it, or does "allowing" accepting use of porn indicate women with less self-esteem.
Hey! I take offense to the money portion of this. I have a rather sizable archive of porn both stored and actively on my PC, and none of it paid for. I merely know how to get around such minor barriers as "money" when getting my porn. That doesn't mean I don't like to spend money on other important things, like important people in my life. I just don't find porn to be a commodity worthy of spending cash on. Only giving harddrive space to.
Jesus and Dariustwin- Ok, ok, I get it! I guess I was talking about the people who are not computer savy and would rather settle for lower quality porn than poney up a few bucks. But there is a TON of good porn out there that is free, so I guess I should have been more careful by what I meant. But I still stick to the fact that if you are trying to jack off to 30 second clips because you don't want to pay money for a full one, than you probably are cheap. Is that fair?
Mnwhr- I would love to see if I could find your porn stash. I have been told I have a knack for these things.
Sabina- I wish everyone was as sex positive as you are. I would be willing to do a study like this, but I know that it would probably ruin my chances to get into many institutions later in life. I would be pegged as the porn girl... which wouldn't bother me that much if it didn't effect my career. Human Sexuality still has quite a bit of taboo areas unfortunately. And porn is no exception. But that doesn't mean I wont do it (and I already have done one porn study before), I just might wait until either the people are less judgemental about erotica research, or when I have a more stable enviornment.
Kenny S.- It is my non-scientific experience that the women who forbid their husbands or boyfriends to view porn are either religious or have issues with thinking that their man would look at other women in a sexual way. But I am biased because I have relatively no problem with porn, and I tend to think of myself as a fairly confident woman.
ack! stop peeping into my mind through my stash!
Yeah, I agree. All men have porn somewhere. Men need variety. No one woman can give us that. So at the very least, we need our porn in addition to any relationship.
For the guys who want good free porn but don’t know where to find it, just let me know ;-)…
Maybe Sexologist is right, my (huge) porn collection is of very diverse styles and, matter of fact, I don’t really have sexual preferences, I just love to fuck.
Now there’s a notion that titillates me in the post, when you say “it is hard to find mainstream porn that isn't slightly degrading to women in some form or another”. It’s actually an idea that’s strongly advocated by feminists that basically “porn is degrading to women” period. That statement is somewhat disturbing.
I’m not negating here that a lot of porn is indeed utterly degrading, like the examples of scenes you mentioned, yet there is a lot of porn that just shows what a lot of ordinary folks do when they have sex, except maybe the fact that facial ejaculations and ‘cream-pies’ are not exactly stuff that everyone does all the time, but that part is rather ‘technical’ to the extent that porn filmmakers feel they are obliged to prove that the guy has really had an orgasm (is that ‘degrading’?)
In other words, porn is widely presented and perceived as ‘degrading’ for women but rarely for men. Porn actresses are often assimilated to prostitutes (etymologically, in greek ‘pornography’ contains prostitute), hence ‘degradation’. Philosophically, I’m not quite comfortable with that notion. As you stated, “Let me prefrece this by saying every man has porn.” That would mean that every man likes to watch women in a degraded situation and corroborate the view of some extreme feminist theories that “Men hate women” (some even say that penetration is rape…).
Well, I don’t hate women, let me say it again I – DON’T – HATE – WOMEN (actually I dislike most men but I don’t have the same reaction at all with women, far from that ;-) ). But I like porn, and I love having sex in a very intense way, such that my partner begins to moan and scream and move in a pornstar-like fashion and when she does so it doesn’t come to my mind that’s she’s ‘degraded’ nor I, and I believe she doesn’t think so, neither.
So, as a conclusion, I really would like to hear non-ideological arguments as to the “degrading to woman” nature of porn. I’m not trying to make a point here, I really feel confused about it and I want to get some input about the matter.
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